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Currently displaying 1-10 of 244 total entries filed here under "News"
December 04, 2007 @ 09:30 AM
 The world is full of absolute retards and unfortunately it's not just the ones who are actually mentally handicapped that are the truly stupid ones. Today I want to show off something that not only made me proud to be an American but also reassured me that even that most simple people can change your life for the better. Ladies and Gentlemen, A Mentally Handicapped Person Sings the National Anthem. It will change your day, I promise.
Elsewhere I'm afraid that real dipshits exist and they have a license to drive. Others deserve to have a helmet but you tell me who is more stupid, the little girl who hit the wall or the person holding the camera who does nothing to help?
We all love porn and weed....but don't take them to a Muslim country you stupid fuck.
A step-mom gets double teamed.
Gemma Atkinson is one seriously hot babe...got me hungry for Amanda Duncan.
December 03, 2007 @ 10:21 AM
 Some of you Interweb surfers are probably too young to remember the Long Island Lolita, Amy Fischer. She was some skanky tramp who shot some poor bitch in the face because she was in love with the woman's fat, unattractive car mechanic husband. Now that crazy bitch is out on the streets like all unstable cunts and a former lover is selling a sex tape of their shenanigans. Now we'll all see what Joey Buttafuoco was into although call me crazy but the slut got better looking, no? This reminds me of another mid 90's headline that eventually lead to porn when the guy whose wife sliced off his dick, from this Weird Al video, ended up doing a movie called "Frankenpenis." Wow, quite the cast list.
Man, I dunno what the hell it is I find remotely hot about a glory hole. Seriously. I think it's the fact that I know no matter what hole I stick my dick into the woman (hopefully) on the other side will never be as hot as this chick. But be careful fellas. This guy could be in the stall next to you.
Natalie Portman sex scene. Go Padame!
This guy came out of his dungeon long enough to meet a slut apparently.
Awww, she's all tuckered out.
November 29, 2007 @ 09:56 AM
 Racism is one of those things that can destroy your career (see Andrew Dice Clay) or just fuck you up for a little while before you're eventually back on top, ie) Don Imus. But is there any hope for our nations porn stars? Watch the media fallout as one horny slut takes her passion for big nigger cocks too far in this report brought to you by The Onion News Network.
I thought sad, frumpy and topless was just a 90's thing? Whatever. Helena Christensen has nice tits.
Oh Snap, I'm not good with puke videos and if you aren't either then beware of this chick who barfs in a plane while it does a loop.
Strap it on good. Here is are another couple of lesbians who enjoy a big black rubber cock piece together and finally I present what looks to be a legit "gotcha!" moment as two women in a bathroom are busted dyking out. Why'd the dude stop them?!
November 26, 2007 @ 04:04 PM
 It's taken me a while but I've finally come up with the perfect way to screen chicks. If they don't know dick about Mystery Science Theater 3000 and don't wanna care...fuck 'em. But if they're awesome and open minded (to anal) I can subject them to All The MST Shorts, collected on one glorious page. Thank YOU, Internet!
And if you're unaware, I'm scared shitless of zombies. I have a long standing fear of getting eaten alive...I also just read "World War Z" which was freaking badass but only served to solidify my nightmares. Now the writers over at Cracked have come up with the 5 Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse is Possible...if not likely!
Any of you guys seen the new Shot At Love With Tia She's Not That Hot Anymore. Man, she's lost already.
I'm not typically into solo masturbation videos but this ebony teen certainly made me think twice. Finally here are two smoking hot chicks grinding pussy.
October 08, 2007 @ 10:23 AM
 Remember back in the late 90's the Brazilian woman's soccer team posed nude for Playboy and it was one of the hottest goddamn things you had ever seen? (This one was my personal fave) Well get the eye bleach ready because apparently women who play handball aren't nearly as attractive.
Yeah, sex in a bank is good but what about sex on top of a bridge? Are they working their way to the Mile High Club?
Also from Plicks....is this a Military grenade blooper or an episode of Red vs Blue?
It's kinda sick but I actually enjoy coming home from an all nude strip club and find that I can still smell pussy on my pants. Now I know why strippers who are in heat get better tips thanks to SCIENCE!
Rosario Dawson is a poor mans Eva Mendes.
Here is a hand job at the beach and if you wanted some classic 80's style fun...it's a bikini wash montage!
October 03, 2007 @ 09:26 AM
 Apparently in Alabama there is a ban on sex toys. Just don't tell these crazy bitches! Other ingenious babes use a power drill to skirt the law.
It's funny how 'toy ban' sounds like 'boy band' because Lou Perlman, the guy behind every boy band of the last 15 years...well, turns out he's a fag who likes to molest his young protege's! Mmm, pop music.
Scenes from a fatal motorcycle accident. And call me tacky but 10 years later I think its important that all you young web surfers see the car wreck that shattered the world one night when a banging hot princess ended up all over the dashboard.
Isiah Thomas knows how to treat the ladies with his pick-up lines.
Jenna Haze. Anal. Need I say more?
Brit lost her kids but Brittany kept these huge tits.
Amazingly cute teen shows us the purple mountains majesty.
October 02, 2007 @ 08:47 AM
 I don't know if you've heard but some dumbass town in Middle America is re-naming Christmas "Winter Festival" or some gay shit in order not to offend Muslims. Well what about all the Christians who celebrate Christmas you mother fuckers? What makes me so pleased about this situation is that some of the most unlikely people, such as Beyonce, are telling the Muslims to go fuck themselves. Second on the list after that banging piece of ass I have new found respect for are the Muslim people themselves who dragged this Fatah leader into the street and gunned his ass down, Sonny Corleone style. This whole, "Don't offend the Muslims" thing has gotten worse than the "Lets Not Offend The Black People" from back in the mid 90's. Thanks a lot Bill Clinton. My family never owned slaves but you apologized on behalf of all the White people making us responsible 10 years later for the hurt feelings of the Muslims. Fuck 'em.
See, what starts out as drunken shenanigans when you're a hot young college co-ed comes back to haunt you years later when you become fat. Then your husband makes a sybian for you that you have to power yourself so that you'll loose weight because there's no way he wants to drill your fat ass.
This cat fight in the shower is more brutal than it is sexy.
A nice long video of a Euro teen working the shaft.
Emily Scott doing what she does best.
October 01, 2007 @ 12:33 PM
 If H.G. Giger and Philip K. Dick made a movie about robot sex I'm pretty sure it would look something like this.
Cheerleader fights are often a load of bullshit, but seeing a girl get her panties wet is kind of a turn on. We all want a girl who can get naughty with the Nintendo. Oriental School Girl is not the preferred nomenclature. Little Asian Slut...please.
It's not often the the words, nude, 19 and speed skater result is such a disappointing picture.
When you live in Hollywood and see as many Scientologists around as I do...no one who blackmails Tom Cruise "commits suicide"
The top 5 highest paid porn stars. Highest paid...not best looking. And the top 10 best porn films of all time. That should go great with my AMC 100.
September 24, 2007 @ 08:38 AM
 Well I can't spend a whole lot of time on the Wide Wide World of Web today because, as you may have heard, Halo 3 is released tomorrow and the Internets are awash with smacktards talking about it. The ending was already leaked but I can avoid one fucking YouTube video. What I can't avoid is every dipshit on the gaming sites I browse all expressing either their undying love/hatred for those who feel differently about said video game. Makes me wish I had a gun.
So to help us all through these trying times I thought I'd feature a site for a TV show I fucking love. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is sort of like a test of your moral compass. The show makes you want to act out all of your most corrupt thoughts with the delusion that you might actually get away with it. What's best is this weeks poll question. Would you like to find out you're accidentally hitting on a 13yr old?
I sure hope so because guess who's pregnant! 15yr old Disney star Miley Cyrus! YAY! The little slut popped her cherry and put a bun in the oven at the tender age of 15. And is she going to get sent to the hooskow?
Alright, now for the porn. An Asian girl with the sucky/fucky action. A college babe gets the strap-on from her roommate and the creative award of the week goes to this girl who fucks her Care Bear. It's actually....kinda hot. Now that's a twisted moral compass.
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