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Currently displaying 1-10 of 12 total entries filed here under "Reviews"
October 01, 2007 @ 12:33 PM
 If H.G. Giger and Philip K. Dick made a movie about robot sex I'm pretty sure it would look something like this.
Cheerleader fights are often a load of bullshit, but seeing a girl get her panties wet is kind of a turn on. We all want a girl who can get naughty with the Nintendo. Oriental School Girl is not the preferred nomenclature. Little Asian Slut...please.
It's not often the the words, nude, 19 and speed skater result is such a disappointing picture.
When you live in Hollywood and see as many Scientologists around as I do...no one who blackmails Tom Cruise "commits suicide"
The top 5 highest paid porn stars. Highest paid...not best looking. And the top 10 best porn films of all time. That should go great with my AMC 100.
March 01, 2007 @ 10:22 AM
 Ever since moving to LA I've been toying with the notion of hitting up one of those "Massage Parlors." The kind where you go in for a $45 back rub and then end up paying another $50 to lay it down on some hot Asian broad. I haven't done this for two reasons, 1. I don't want the guilty conscience of picking the only parlor in LA that's actually part of an international sex slave ring (I'm only looking for willing prostitutes, not those forced into the trade) and 2. I don't want to get caught in a goddamn police sting!
A massive hill climb teeters on the edge of disaster. I loooove motor sport.
And the war drags on...watch once again as some street fighting men poke their heads around the wrong corner and get a friendly bullet in the face. Maybe the shots came from this buxom gunner? Maybe Kennedy was killed by hotties?
This is a bummer, man. That's a real bummer.
Audrey Bitoni sounds like a character name from the Sopranos, Danni has floppy tits and Sunny, I thank you for the rain that falls on me.
January 08, 2007 @ 10:02 AM
 When I read the link to this gallery the first time I was pretty sure it said, "Blind Amber plays her hard nipples." Bad grammar aside, I was intrigued by the notion of a blind content girl. Why hasn't anyone run that train into the ground? Hell, sick sexual fetish aside, I bet you there are some pretty smoking hot chicks out there tapping down the sidewalk with their canes just waiting for the Bang Bus to pick then up. Plus...they'll already have a well trained dog who probably loves peanut butter. This idea is brilliant! But seeing as it ain't gonna happen today, here's some more nipple play and kitty petting.
There are some people we are ashamed to have seen naked, ie) Screech in his scatological sex tape, some people we're pleased to see any sexually revealing picture of, ie) Scarlett Johansson and then there are those we're just flat out disappointed to see topless such as Kate Moss and Courtney Cox. Topless, in the same goddamn picture and there's not a hint of sexy at all. It's almost like seeing pictures of your mom naked. Four tits and no hard-on...time for those bitches to retire.
Watch Keith Richards smack a dude upside the head with his ax, a bunch of the craziest video's to come out of Japan in 2006 and a couple of rug munchers doing what they do best.
January 03, 2007 @ 12:22 PM
 You know that urgent feeling you (should) get right after breaking up with someone to go out and make something of your life? A nice little 'Fuck You' to the strumpet who ran out on your ass because she thought you were dragging her down and the competition to pretend like you don't need your Ex? Well I hate to say it folks, I really do, but K-Fed has got Britney beat. I know, I'm as shocked as anyone but after her antics of the past few months, the pounds she's packed on and the closing of her fan site, that dipshit Kevin may still be the worlds biggest loser but at least he was never at some point desirable! Remember how we ALL wanted to fuck Britney back in the day...you remember, when she was attractive? Christ man, now I know how all our older brothers felt when all those 80's teen starlets got fat and coked out. But as we all know, sluts will be sluts.
The Lazona Twins assure us that one is the loneliest number, Karla Spice shows us color is a good thing and this video shows us that life in Japan is a constant struggle.
December 29, 2006 @ 11:59 PM
 HAHA! It's the end of the world! FUCK! It's only the end of the year. Here is the last Playmate of the year, Kia Drayton.
The website sensation of the year has got the top videos you want to see. It'll cost you $1.6 billion to watch.
Danny Bonaduce gets in the last word and these kids learn to speaka de engrish. Which is a big step considering most residents of LA don't know as much of the language as these kids.
Well, it's been a great year. Lots of interesting people died, some kind of election took place and awards were presented to woefully under talented people. Carry on.
May 03, 2006 @ 01:51 PM
 Alright, more news of impending doom, this time directed at an asshole who deserves to be hung out to fucking dry, aptly named video game villain Zacarias Moussaoui. We'll have details on his fate as they come. As long as I don't get distracted by the fact that his last name looks strikingly similar to Masuimi Max and go searching for porn...shit I already did. And I found Max over at TheFetishSeries.com where I could watch personal video diary like videos of the post-emo boarder line cutter content girls who look like they'd strap on a 2 footer and anally gang bang me in front of my own mother while I danced an Irish jig, now that's a fetish. Long story short this site has got all the hottest whip wielding chicks you can find. Wow, having said all that I think I need a shower. OH! Our prison bitch escaped the death penalty. Enjoy the showers buddy!
May 03, 2006 @ 10:39 AM
 If it isn't another day in paradise. Well, imminently doomed paradise that is but shit it's better than waking up in Kansas every day, right? Que sera sera...hey! Thank god we finally got to test that tsunami warning system otherwise it would have sat around for another 10 years until the very people who supported its creation started bitching about how much it costs to maintain the damn thing every year. Check out this video of a brillaint Super Mario Bros. stage production that left me in hysterics. I also got a huge kick out of this porn star beat down between two chicks, sadly they were fully clothed but the day I find a full nude girl cat fight with nails and all...Jesus, it'll probably make me change professions. See what happens to your average girl when she gets the glamour and cocaine of Van Nuys into her head? It's just sad. Ohh..wait...Awwwww Duuude....As of me writing this post, Fiji and New Zealand are in the clear and safe from being engulfed by the angry and spiteful Poseidon. Boo! What gives them the right to be saved? They aren't Mormon! Well, take time to revisit the last tragic (but far away!) aquatic disaster and remember...the liquids will get you too!
February 21, 2006 @ 09:20 AM
 It's not often that I kill an entire weekend in Vegas for the hell of it, but like anyone else who lives within driving distance of Sin City, it's just something you end up doing as a matter of course. Typically I just wander around with the guys while they drink and gamble, patiently waiting to hit up a strip club which honestly seems to be the only reason I find myself in the middle of a town that mutated and grew from the radiation cast off nearby nuclear tests while every off duty military man in the region shot his wad into the towns whore supply on a weekly basis throughout the 50's and 60's.
November 30, 2005 @ 04:45 PM
 You're all going to think I'm nuts when I go into what I'm about to go into here but never the fuck you mind because this effects you too. If you've ever been tempted to buy a super clever shirt off a website then you've browsed endless pages of product shots and personal designs. What you don't realize is that you're exposing yourself to the dangerous stereotype that only queer little indie boys wear stupid shirts purchased from any number of the Internets small businesses whose purpose is to print bumper stickers for your chest. This is horribly inaccurate because it alludes to the notion that anyone buys this shit to begin with and I probably would if I wasn't convinced I'd look like a pathetic RENT groupie. I mean, how am I to look at this schmuck wearing this 'Greece' shirt? Fucking A man, the Greeks practically invented homosexuality, or at least made it a party event (the Macedonians, look them up before you bitch me out). And never recycle your fags. Look, if you really want to sell a shirt online you gotta do it like this bad mother fucker here. What wouldn't make you buy that?
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